I want to thank all of you who have encouraged me this week. I am feeling much better now, maybe venting is good.
Things that don't usually bug me have been bugging me and things that normally bug me have not been bugging me and it occurred to me that nothing has changed.
Glass half empty/glass half full... It's the same glass the same level, but how I see it on any given day can change so drastically it is wild sometimes.
The Apostle Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, to think upon the good things and to fix our eyes on Jesus. When I'm doing this, things all fit together, hope abounds, I am grateful. But then I get lazy or distracted or grumbley or bored and the devil takes over.
This life of faith is wonderful at times but very very very hard. I am in Christ, but it is up to me to remain (and I don't mean in an I can be unsaved way, but in a focus way) in Him. I am becoming increasingly aware that I really don't know what that means, but it is real for sure. I find that the hardest part of it all is inside my head.
I don't need things to change, I need my mind to change. I need to change my mind. Turning to Him in prayer and deciding that without Him I can do nothing (again, not sure what it all means, but I know).
My perception of His being far off, abandon-y, unloving and unfair lately is all in my head. I'm not sure how that happens, it is all how I look at it I guess. I need to remember this since I'm sure the battle will continue at some point. But for now, I'll take the small victory.
Things that don't usually bug me have been bugging me and things that normally bug me have not been bugging me and it occurred to me that nothing has changed.
Glass half empty/glass half full... It's the same glass the same level, but how I see it on any given day can change so drastically it is wild sometimes.
The Apostle Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, to think upon the good things and to fix our eyes on Jesus. When I'm doing this, things all fit together, hope abounds, I am grateful. But then I get lazy or distracted or grumbley or bored and the devil takes over.
This life of faith is wonderful at times but very very very hard. I am in Christ, but it is up to me to remain (and I don't mean in an I can be unsaved way, but in a focus way) in Him. I am becoming increasingly aware that I really don't know what that means, but it is real for sure. I find that the hardest part of it all is inside my head.
I don't need things to change, I need my mind to change. I need to change my mind. Turning to Him in prayer and deciding that without Him I can do nothing (again, not sure what it all means, but I know).
My perception of His being far off, abandon-y, unloving and unfair lately is all in my head. I'm not sure how that happens, it is all how I look at it I guess. I need to remember this since I'm sure the battle will continue at some point. But for now, I'll take the small victory.
I'm happy for your small victory... all rooted in His big victory. I like your glass analogy. So true. Our minds are fickle, our emotions flippant, if I may say so (I know I'm not alone). But God, He never changes. He's never fickle nor flippant... nor anything but good. THANK GOD! And He will not leave us in a funk perpetually. There's so much I still don't get, but I'll hang my heart on this one, Philippians 1:6.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that my funk isn't perpetual:)
DeleteI think it is hard for all of us, that is..if we are really trying. BUT it is so wonderful that He doesn't mind! He knows our heart and our love for Him and it will all be fine. NO living under the law.
ReplyDeleteHe knows our heart and our love for Him and it will all be fine.
DeleteThat is so comforting.
Thank God for small victories Ma! I always find it amazing how God uses you to reach us with monster messages of godly truth delivered in your simple down-to-earth words of wisdom. "Glass half empty/glass half full... It's the same glass", outstanding! Don't focus on the level, focus on the glass. Brilliant! Man, how the holy Spirit Works through you! You are such a great blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words Brian.
DeleteSmall victories are better than no victories at all. It sounds like you and I are going through a similar journey with our Lord. I'm also learning that I need to change my attitude about certain aspects of my life. Like you, I don't always "know what that means," but when I stop trusting in Him, The Evil One comes a-roaring!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Exactly. The Evil one cannot wait for us to take our minds off God. I pray for your small victories, too:)
DeletePraising God that you are doing better.
ReplyDeleteThanks you Denise.
DeleteHi Ma,
ReplyDeleteI know you didn't really mean "I" when you said "I need to change my mind"...but I know what you do mean, I think, lol.
I was thinking how upside down everything is these days, and that "what is good" is seen as evil (to be saved) and what is evil (sexual perversion, abortion, for two quick examples right off the top of my head) is said to be good these days...and there is no way that we living inside of this "culture" would be untouched by it.
I've been reading Isaiah, and this passage came to mind:
Isa 6:5 Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.
Isa 6:6 Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar:
Isa 6:7 And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.
When Isaiah came close to God's presence he became much more conscious of his, and his culture's, sinfulness. It made him say "woe is me, I am undone", and a pastor I listened to said it is a quaint saying (I am undone) that would today be equivalent to the opposite of "having it all together" (as we say these days). Then after he confesses his undoneness, a seraphim angel touches his lips with the coal from the altar of God and it purges away his sinfulness.
The point is that it is a good thing to be conscious of our terrible sinfulness because:
1. it means we are drawing closer to the Lord
2. it means then the Lord can cause it to be cleansed truly (not the pretend way that we often get duped into these days, but the real deal Biblical way).
Joh 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.
Soon we may get to test ourselves in that John 12:25 verse because if we love ourselves more than the Lord we will take the MOB, but if we truly love the Lord more than ourselves, we will even die terrible deaths for His sake while praising His name, but only He can supply us with such strength and endurance. That way He (not we) get all the praise for our accomplishments.
I know you didn't really mean "I" when you said "I need to change my mind"...but I know what you do mean, I think, lol.
ReplyDeleteYes and no. I know that it is God that has done everything for me, but I find that if I don't work with Him (choosing to communicate,making the effort to stay in prayer) I cut myself off. He didn't do it, I did it. The depression I was feeling almost immediately turned around (for the moment) when I cried "Abba" you know? It was just plain stupid of me to start thinking I could handle everything without being connected to Him and that was exactly what I was trying to do for some reason.
As far as recognizing our terrible sinfulness, that's all I have done for the last 20 years and I'm quite tired of beating myself up over it. (The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom so I do think that repentance from sin is the starting point to the relationship and I'm not saying people don't have things to repent for but once that's done as far as east from west I think) There is absolutely no fruit to be produced by guilt and fear and shame and regret. Where's the peace and joy and love and reconciliation? Certainly not to be had according to some preachers I've heard and religion I've participated in. If being in Christ means hating myself and feeling guilty all the time, I cannot go on.
God loves us, He says it over and over. It's the enemy that says otherwise (the accuser). Of course I know it is because of Christ that I can enter His presence but the point is I CAN enter. It is finished. In Isaiah's time that wasn't the case.
I hope you had a blessed day yesterday! He is risen, and we will also rise.
Sorry to ramble, I think the coffee is kickin' in:P
Beating yourself is not good, Ma, I agree...the above example of Isaiah is a different situation altogether, wouldn't you agree? He found himself to be a "man of unclean lips (everything he said was evil) in a land of people with unclean lips" which you will agree is what we also are. God's grace and forgiveness get tossed around like it's nothing. It is something very powerful, tremendous, and yes of course we surrender to it, however, the surrendering burns the dross from us, the refining fires, they are not comfortable, the emphasis is not on how much we repent, or how much we surrender, or how we do ANYTHING, it is God's holiness, God's refining work, and if we are humbled in the process by God's doing it is good...and when we die and give up this mortal disobedient vile flesh, it will be a wonderful thing because we will no longer have to drag around this body of dying flesh.
DeleteWhether we are happy or sad or whatever, is not the most important thing, the important thing is remembering like David that GOD has it all together, so if you and I feel like we don't or we do, doesn't add up to a hill of beans (thought since you're into beans lately, lol)
He found himself to be a "man of unclean lips (everything he said was evil) in a land of people with unclean lips" which you will agree is what we also are.
ReplyDeleteWere according to Paul. Jesus opened the doors and tore down the veil so that we can boldly go in. That has been what has tripped me up. We are seated with Christ in heavenly places. We are no longer slaves, but friends, sons and daughters of God. It is the devil that says we are not worthy to go in. By His spirit and His son, we are and can.
And I think our happiness (okay, joy) is very important thing. It is part of the fruit of the spirit.