I remember all too well what it was like (even when accused of having no idea what I'm talking about). The eye rolling, the temper tantrums, the never ending drama. Those of us who have come out the other side know these things are but for a few years and when the smoke clears, we can look back and see how crazy it all was.
I struggle with grace and love in this area because, quite frankly, I get very frustrated with the situation a lot of the time. The fact that I did homeschool and shelter has me playing the self- blame game a lot (with one), but the other thrives in this environment, so the individual is what drives the behavior and the motivation (or lack thereof) to some extent.
Tough love? Love love? Unconditional Love? (boy is that easier said than done). I think back to my teens and the turbulence, the horrific way I treated my parents and know now that it will/does change. It's just getting through the storm without turning on each other and causing more damage.
They all told me this was coming.
There are good conversations to be had, though. One is very interested in religion, philosophy, and politics and I can totally see my younger, more idealistic self in her. When did we all get old and stop caring about what really matters, man?
My other teen has a million interests and found his musical talent last year. He is a huge Beatles fan (as are all the boys), but I also heard Cream and The Rolling Stones coming out of his guitar recently and I had to smile. He's got much of our musical tastes. All the boys have now picked up an instrument and they sound pretty darn good.
On a drive last week, my Beatles fan told me all about the Paul McCartney is dead theory after our neighbor told him about it. I already knew a lot of it, but after doing some research, I have to say, I'm pretty freaked out. It's cool that we can talk about these things.
I honestly think these next few years will be the hardest by far in my parenting career.
I struggle with grace and love in this area because, quite frankly, I get very frustrated with the situation a lot of the time. The fact that I did homeschool and shelter has me playing the self- blame game a lot (with one), but the other thrives in this environment, so the individual is what drives the behavior and the motivation (or lack thereof) to some extent.
Tough love? Love love? Unconditional Love? (boy is that easier said than done). I think back to my teens and the turbulence, the horrific way I treated my parents and know now that it will/does change. It's just getting through the storm without turning on each other and causing more damage.
They all told me this was coming.
There are good conversations to be had, though. One is very interested in religion, philosophy, and politics and I can totally see my younger, more idealistic self in her. When did we all get old and stop caring about what really matters, man?
My other teen has a million interests and found his musical talent last year. He is a huge Beatles fan (as are all the boys), but I also heard Cream and The Rolling Stones coming out of his guitar recently and I had to smile. He's got much of our musical tastes. All the boys have now picked up an instrument and they sound pretty darn good.
On a drive last week, my Beatles fan told me all about the Paul McCartney is dead theory after our neighbor told him about it. I already knew a lot of it, but after doing some research, I have to say, I'm pretty freaked out. It's cool that we can talk about these things.
I honestly think these next few years will be the hardest by far in my parenting career.
"I honestly think these next few years will be the hardest by far in my parenting career."
ReplyDeleteOh, absolutely -- I mean, with the giants crashing through the city walls and eating people, and the ineffectiveness of human weapons against them...
Oh, wait. I read that as Attack On Titan rather than Attack Of The Teens.
I'm not looking forward to my boys hitting that stage, though.
So far, I have found the boy to be easier to deal with, but it may be a personality and not a gender thing. Enjoy them while they are small.
DeleteOh and my dd and her bff would love the Attack on Titan reference:)
DeleteI am pleased that my daughters are all grown up now and everything turned out OK. I hope it won’t be hard when it is the turn of my grandchildren but the oldest is only 8 years old, so there is a long time to wait. But, frankly, I don’t remember much problems with my girls – we must have been lucky. Thanks for coming to my blog.
ReplyDelete