The Yearly Manager Exodus

It seems like this happens once a year. We find ourselves with a whole new team of managers. It was last year at this time that we got a new owner at our store and now all of our other managers have gone away. Sadly, this means having to start ALL OVER AGAIN every year with the set-ish schedules we veterans of the restaurant have, protecting our turf as in sections and shifts and just having to learn how a whole new group of people work.


I've always been able to get along with just about everyone, with our newest owner being an exception. He came in last year with both barrels blazing, unapologetic-ally just pissing everyone off.  Quite a few people quit. Since then, he has really toned it down and may turn out to be one of the best managers we've had so far (if he stays), but it really took a very long time for him to "fit in" here.


So, I met new manager 1 of 3 last night. He seems okay. What I'm most worried about is my schedule at this point, due to my now carrying the health insurance for our family. If I don't average enough hours, I won't be eligible next year and so far, I have everything delicately balanced. I'm usually not one to demand certain things, but being there for over 4 years and seeing how those who demand get, it makes me wonder if I should change my approach should things not go my way. Although, it's really not my style, we'll see.


I would never do it, though, go into management. I did manage in the restaurant I worked in several years ago before the kids and it was not my thing. They have to deal with all this:

I just hope I can CHILL out and keep things they way they have been. 

Happy Spring

I miss my almost daily blogging, but it seems like I have nothing to say. I have thought of lots of ideas lately, but nothing is really taking off.



Unfortunately, after my stepfather died, I joined facebook as a way to stay in the loop with my mom and sister and extended family, but in the couple of days that followed, many friend requests from work came in and now I find myself sucked into the constant facebook thing, which sucks in a way. It really is a big time burglar. 




But I like who I am becoming, or returning to, who we as a family are becoming. I'd like to talk about that more here in the most private-public forum I have left. 







Easter was pretty uninteresting this year. We went to the extended hubby's family and as I see all the babies being born remember where I was a few years ago. So much obligation, guilt, thankfulness, hope, despair, duty, trusting in the Master Plan for my and my family's ultimate end.



Joe and I are really wanting to get back to our roots, to US, before God and Jesus took over and made us into what we were supposed to be for a long time. We had a nice talk the other day and something I said surprised me. I said I was glad to have believed and then not believed. I have seen it both ways and I don't think everyone gets that chance (is chance the right word?). But in that moment I was overwhelmingly grateful.



The Easter Story makes less and less sense as the years go by, but the idea behind everything being born anew every year is nice.  As I battle old demons and welcome new angels I have hope.

Beans: Five Years Later

As I am cooking up a large batch of black beans today, I recalled how much I HATED beans just five years ago.  I even did a series here about how I planned to use up all the stockpile we had at the time.

Now, I eat beans all the time. Since I stopped eating meat, it seems I've gained my taste for beans.


Things change.

I'll freeze these in about 2 cup portions and use them for taco filling, salads, maybe bean burgers, etc. Two of my kiddos are trying to go veg (their idea) too, and have been willing to experiment with their own favorites.

I find that black beans are my favorite, but recently had some house made vegan sausage at a local pizza place and learned that is was made from oats and pinto beans. I'm definitely interested in trying something like that out, it was very good.


I don't post much about my new love for vegetarian cooking here, but I do on my Instagram (as well as other things) so follow me there if that kind of thing sounds interesting.


I'm doing more posting there than anywhere at this time.

Desired Things

I was doing some cleaning last week and found this under the bed. I remember taking it down and stashing it years ago due to the "new ageiness" of it. At the time that was a big no-no. It's a poem written in 1927 apparently and was hanging in this house when we moved in 22 years ago. I enjoyed it for sometime until I became ultra fundamental and, well, if you read it, it is pretty tolerant, loving and all inclusive.


Reading it again and hanging it back up makes me happy.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

“

”

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Loving People Where They Are

Lately I am reflecting on my morals, my philosophy, what kind of person I strive to be. Since l don't have a otherworldly motive to "be good" some would suppose I would descend into the gaping maw of hellish sinfulness.  I've found quite the opposite to be true, though.

I feel like I'm pretty much the same person as I was, as I always was. 


Things are okay right now. I say okay because they are not bad, but they are not great. I guess everyone could say the same. I'm not talking about things in the political or news world (don't really care about any of that) but in my own corner of the world. Some days I feel like I have it all and others I am quite discouraged and depressed. The reasons for such discouragement are many, deep and not easily identified. Things aren't always what they seem and certainly not always what one hoped they would be.


In all that, I'm trying, as a personal challenge, to just love people in my life they way they are without expectation or motive. I'm trying to banish all gossip and negative talk. I'm trying to look at where I may be hypocritical, mean, selfish, or unloving , and stopping that, and also forgiving and loving myself.


I've begun a much gentler parenting style in the last few years and find that it has made me a different person in a good way. I look at them not as sinners who need to be saved, but as little people who need a role model, a friend, a guide.  I don't yell nearly as much, I don't sweat the small stuff. It's been a great letting go of power. They are all flourishing and discovering their own passions and talents and it is a great thing to see. Recently, my 12 year old expressed and interest in boxing. We found a place for lessons and this has become a very interesting new experience. My oldest son is now working for the computer repair place that he interned at a couple of years ago. He has a pretty large amount of responsibility and I'm proud of how he is handling himself.  My 14 year old loves all things outdoors and survival. He bird watches, looks at the sky with his telescope, takes care of the fish, and loves WoW. My 10 year old is building stuff all day long with scrap wood and dismantling and rebuilding. My 9 year old daughter is drawing, just like her big sis, and loves to play and pretend. She has such a good sense of humor.  My first born has flown the nest. It came kind of out of the blue, but not as a huge surprise. My husband and I handled it with grace, knowing that fighting against it would do no good. She's happy, she's safe. Her boyfriend is a great guy, has a job and works on cars on the side. They are young and in love. Weren't we all at some time?

That's where I am as of now. Loving life and yet not.


And I am the one who hated paradoxes.